Return to site

Confident, Not Cocky

October 22, 2018

I subscribe to a lot of inspirational news feeds that are daily reminders for me to embrace the positive while acknowledging the realities of life. Recently, I came across the 5 Daily Reminders below. Numbers 1 and 5 really spoke to me because I believe we’re conditioned to ignore them for fear of being judged as arrogant. It also got me to thinking about my youngest sister and one of her sons.

5 Daily Reminders

  1. I am amazing.
  2. I can do anything.
  3. Positivity is a choice.
  4. I celebrate my individuality.
  5. I am prepared to succeed.

My sister, Ellen, is one of the most positive people I know. She's very driven, extremely smart, very much an extrovert, and her attention to detail and excellence is legendary at home and at work. The one thing that she does almost all the time is demonstrate a positive attitude. She has a big job with many responsibilities and stresses, but she still tries every day to radiate joyous energy. I think this is one of her gifts to the world.

Her youngest son is a talented soccer player who works hard and plays on some of the best competitive teams in Michigan. He’s also earned a spot on an Olympic Development Program (ODP) team. I remember a conversation we had when he was 8 or 9. He was telling me about a rec-league team he was playing on at the time that was winning but had some average players. With a sly smile he added that he was the best player on the team (which was actually true based on the stats). I was trying to figure out how to respond in a way that would honor the truth of the statement but remind my nephew to check his ego.

Ellen overheard our conversation and beat me to it by calling him out on his comment. "Hey . . . I like confident, but not cocky," she said, looking him straight in the eye and pausing for effect. He smiled sheepishly but agreed that she was right. He happily explained that he had two jobs on the team: to score and to help other people score. He then proceeded to share a few more memorable plays with me with all the enthusiasm of a child who has totally immersed himself in his favorite sport.

What a gift Ellen has given her son! She's holding him accountable to seeing his role as one of driver and supporter with equal emphasis and that his attitude about his soccer smarts is more important than his actual performance. She’s also giving him permission to be proud of himself. He has the gift of athletic skill – something that has traditionally opened many doors for American males and can give a false sense of self-importance. Instead of seeing it as a status symbol, my nephew is learning that his personal power comes from his own spirit which, in turn, guides how he shares his many gifts.

It can be hard to live a life of positivity. My nephew is a good reminder to me to celebrate my life freely from within my own spirit rather than limiting those moments to specific achievements or by comparing myself to others. I find that when I do, I feel one step closer to honoring my gifts as such and can share them more naturally with others.

What gifts do you give yourself permission to claim and share?